Grief's Scream
by Laurahjess.xoxo
Summary: The future of the Lyell Center is unstable, hanging in the balance after the death of its head Pathologist. Nikki feels under immense pressure to fill Leo's shoes and finds herself quickly drowning in the mass of paperwork and plans. As well as dealing with her own grief, she must carry the center or allow it to be swept away. Will hope blossom with the return of an old face?
1. Morning After the Night Before

1.

Nikki opened her eyes and groaned as the sunlight poured in through the blinds and sent her head spinning. She touched a hand to her forehead and pulled the duvet up over her face, searching for relief in the silence of sleep.

"Oh good you're awake."

Suddenly she forgot all about her splitting headache and her eyes flicked wide open. She froze under the duvet, dreading the world outside its comforting warmth. She knew she had drunk a good deal last night, more than she would ever have drunk before, but she could not find the memory of how she got home. Surely she hadn't come home with a stranger. She inhaled deeply, and the unfamiliar smell of the bed sheets confirmed her fears that she was not in her own bed. Slowly, she peeled back the covers and rolled over to face whoever it was.

"Jack," she whispered, relieved and terrified at the same time, "we… we didn't…"

"Oh yeah, we are so good together," Jack grinned, placing a cup of coffee down on the bedside table, "I'm only joking, Nikki, don't look so horrified," he laughed.

"I feel so embarrassed," she said, pulling herself into a sitting position and dropping her head into her hands.

"You were in no state to go home last night. I managed to get you back here and I slept on the couch," he smiled gently, "first time I've seen you drunk."

"It was only supposed to be one drink," Nikki groaned as she rubbed her head, trying to erase the headache which thrummed behind her temples. As she moved into a sitting position, she noticed that the mattress was not supported by a bed frame, but was laid out on the floor. A single blackout blind which didn't quite do its job hung in the high window, the cream walls were bare but freshly painted and instead of a wardrobe there was clothing rail covered in a mess of jeans and t-shirts. She realised that this was the first time she had seen inside Jack's private and personal world away from the man she knew from work.

"You have the right to let your hair down," Jack said, "especially after everything you've been through."

"I'm sorry if I was a burden," she said as she pushed away the duvet and climbed to her feet. Cringing, she glanced down at her creased blouse and bunched up black jeans.

"I'll take you home," he smiled, leading the way out of his bedroom and onto a small landing. Jack's bedroom was the only room on the top level, and at the bottom of the set of stairs the flat opened up into a well sized open plan living room and kitchen space. In one corner hung a punch bag and a door which Nikki presumed led to the bathroom. The colour scheme was cosy, browns and creams softened by splashes of modern colour.

"It's nice," she turned to him as she slid her feet into her heeled boots.

"I only moved in recently, it's a working progress," he shrugged, lifting his keys from the sideboard in the kitchen. He tossed them up and snatched them out of the air with ease as he waited for Nikki.

"Thanks again for looking out for me, Jack," she said as she followed him.

"Any time," he grinned.

* * *

After a long day of interviews, Nikki finally closed the last profile and blew out a heavy sigh. None of the candidates had been suitable for the job, nobody could meet the criteria and nobody measured up to Leo. The thought of anybody filling his shoes made Nikki feel physically sick. She pressed her fingertips into her temples and spun the desk chair to face away from the office and out of the window.

"How am I supposed to do this without you," she whispered to herself. She heard Jack move in the doorway, followed by a gentle tap on the open door. She had been avoiding him at work over the last few days, too embarrassed about her behaviour at the weekend.

"I don't understand why the Head Office hasn't just sent somebody, these interviews aren't doing any good," she said to him without turning the chair around.

"You'll get there Nikki."

The voice wasn't Jack's, but Nikki would recognise it anywhere. She didn't want to turn around in case she had imagined it and yet she needed to see with her own eyes. Slowly she turned the chair to face the office and the shaggy haired man who stood facing her. All of her breath was taken away at once and she shot to her feet.

"Harry," she gasped.


	2. Change is Coming

2.

Nikki was unsure as to how Harry was going to act with her. Since Leo's death, she had been a difficult person to contact. It wasn't that he hadn't tried, because he had, it was just that Nikki hadn't wanted to talk to anybody, not even Harry. She had failed to return his calls, messages and emails. She knew he would be worried, but she felt too cold and numb inside to react or respond. Usually she would be thrilled to see Harry's phone number on her caller ID, or read his emails full of stories and questions, but after Afghanistan, she just hadn't been able to face it. But now, seeing Harry's familiar form stood in front of her, all she wanted to do was be near him and tell him everything. She was so glad to see him.

She quickly closed the distance between them and he gathered her up in his arms. One hand pressed against her hair, holding her head protectively close, and the other wrapped tightly around her lower back. He held her close for what seemed like an age and then eventually she peeled herself away. He leaned forward and swiped a tear away from her cheek as it made tracks down her face and she offered him a small smile in return.

"Oh Nikki," he murmured as his eyes scanned hers. She shook her head gently from side to side and heaved a heavy sigh. She made her way around the desk and fell back into the squeaky desk chair as Harry settled himself into the one opposite her. He leaned forward on the desk with his elbows, his gaze never leaving Nikki's. She could see her own sadness reflected in his bright eyes, and for the first time they lacked that special sparkle.

"What happened out there?" he asked gently and Nikki felt her grief and the memory resurface. Each time she thought about that day, a little piece of her sanity flaked away and she felt herself slipping into a dangerous oblivion. So far, the busy crazy schedule of work was keeping her grounded, her to-do list allowing her distracted mind so breathe, but as soon as the quiet of a moment crept in, so did the screams…

"He sacrificed himself for us. Leo knew something was wrong, I could tell from his voice, his eyes. They were panicked, worried, terrified. I was a little distance from him, with Jack. We were celebrating the opening of a wonderful charity there after closing a case. We thought it was over, but we were so wrong. I could see Leo beginning to walk away from us with Daniel, the boy. He was crying, and then he began shouting for everyone to move. Jack knew something wasn't right and he started to herd people away in the opposite direction while Leo and Daniel ran the other way. I tried to follow him. I was screaming his name. He was getting further away and he held up his hands begging me to stay back. I was panicking, Harry, I was so scared. Something deep within me knew what was about to happen before it did. The pressure in the air changed, everything slowed down and the sound waves buzzed. And then, breaking the still and the silence, the bomb exploded. I can still hear him, every night. I can't shake it," Nikki explained slowly, keeping her wide, glazed eyes fixed on a faraway part of the room, trying not to look directly at Harry. She knew what he must be thinking; they left England as a team and they returned broken, in mourning, and one man short. Somewhere along that train of thought led to blame which she already reserved for herself.

Harry was silent and she finally looked at him. A slow tear dripped from the corner of his eye and he didn't move to erase it. There was no sobbing, no fit of anger or heartache, just the silent expression of mourning. Death did that to people, it moved them like nothing anybody could do while they were alive.

"I'm so sorry Nikki," he said after a long pause, unable to raise his voice much more than a whisper, "I know how much Leo meant to you."

"He meant a lot to all of us. Which is why I need to do good by this place, keep it running. We've had the Head Office scrutinising our every move for a long time now. They want to shut us down, change the Lyell Centre into a place of learning rather than work. They've offered me a teaching job, but I refuse to take it. I've been given an ultimatum: find a replacement or hand over the Centre. Soon. But nobody can fill his shoes, Harry," she sighed, running a hand through her loose blonde curls.

"Nikki they're practically handing you a promotion. You've been here the longest now and you already have the qualifications and the skills to run this place," Harry suggested.

"I can't do it, I've been trying. We're three months behind in paperwork and our budget has been cut by over what we can afford. I'm struggling," she shook her head, lifting several slivers of paper off the cluttered desk to demonstrate, "and besides, I'd still have to interview a ton of people and then train them to take my position," she added.

"Hire me."

"I can't, what about New York," she laughed, but there was no humour behind the sound.

"I'm on temporary extended indefinite leave," he smirked in the old Harry way, leaning back in his chair and holding her gaze. She felt a bubble of hope and excitement swell in her stomach at his words, but she didn't let it show on her face.

"I can't ask that of you," she said.

"You don't have to, I'm telling you," he grinned, "its perfect. I cost no more than anybody else to hire but I know my way around this place like the back of my hand. I can help you out and we can save this place together. No matter what I have in New York, this will always be my home."

Nikki couldn't help the smile which lifted the corners of her lips. His words made sense, warming even the coldest places inside her, and she would give anything to work alongside Harry again. He was, after all, one of the best pathologists she had ever known. Sharing that moment with him felt just like old times, and for the first time in weeks, she felt like something good was about to happen.

"I'd like to welcome you aboard, Mr Professor Doctor Harry Cunningham," she smiled, extending her hand towards her old colleague and best friend.

"It's good to be back," he grinned as he took it.

She couldn't agree more. Harry was back. Change was coming.


	3. Haunted

3.

Nikki found herself standing in a white room. The walls were white, the floor was white and the ceiling was white. She couldn't remember how she got there, or why she was there. She glanced down at her jean clad legs and then at her hands, but her body did not feel as if it belonged to her. Something was wrong, she could sense it. She felt afraid. She needed to get out.

Her footsteps echoed as she moved to one side of the claustrophobic room, and then the sound of somebody clearing their throat made her stop. She turned around and saw Leo leaning against one of the white washed walls. A light flickered overhead and with a buzzing noise the panel above him flickered out of existence and he was left standing in a spot of darkness.

Nikki was so happy to see him and she let out a heavy sigh of relief.

"Leo, it's so good to see you, for some reason I didn't think I would," she said, but the words only seemed to sound in her head. Leo didn't move or respond to her words, so she took a step closer. He wasn't looking at her, but past her at the opposite side of the room. Slowly, she turned to look over her shoulder to see what he was looking at. There was nothing there but the sickeningly white wall.

"But everything will be okay now that you're here," Nikki continued. She couldn't see his face properly due to the shadows, but she knew he couldn't see or hear her. A painful feeling of panic stabbed Nikki in the stomach and she took another step towards him. The walls seemed to stretch outwards and her feet moved as if on a treadmill. She remained in the same space, just out of reach of Leo as he continued to stare forwards.

"Please say something; I want to hear your voice. I thought I would never hear it again," she laughed nervously, trying once more to approach him. Very slowly, Leo's gaze turned on her. Nikki was shocked to see the full whites of his eyes, the colour missing totally from them. Blindly, he smiled at her and stepped forward into the light. Nikki almost screamed when she was able to see the full extent of his body.

"I've missed you Nikki," he said, but his words crumbled in his mouth as if he were talking around broken glass. His lips were black and chapped, and each time they opened and closed, little flakes of ash tumbled out from inside. His clothes were torn and burned, hanging off his body in mere shreds. His blind eyes began to bleed thick black liquid as his skin blossomed with angry red blotches until he was covered in scolds.

Nikki looked down at her own hands again and she saw them slippery with blood. She opened her mouth in a silent sob and she watched as the wall behind Leo began to change colour, little tiny veins of black stretching across from corner to corner. The lights flickered and dimmed around them as he came closer. His body was breaking down, burning in an invisible fire which was consuming him. The smile remained on his lips as he finally reached Nikki and he moved to brush her cheek with his crumbing fingers. Upon his touch, the room exploded into an array of harsh colours and suddenly she couldn't see anything. All she could hear was the sound of a piercing scream, and she couldn't tell if it was her own, or Leo's.

Nikki woke with a start, her heart beating in her ears and her head spinning. With shaking fingers she fumbled for the light beside her bed and she forced herself to sit up against the headboard, her trembling. Her body was damp with cold sweat and she brushed her matted hair away from her face as she took steady breaths, trying to keep herself from busting into tears. Somebody knocked softly on her door and then it swung gently open to reveal Harry's frame in the doorway. It was just like the time that Harry had crashed at her place while his flat was being done up. But this time, the circumstances were a little different.

"You were screaming Leo's name again," he said quietly.

"I'm sorry that I woke you," she said, her words shaking uneasily.

"That's ok, I wasn't having a particularly pleasant sleep myself," he shrugged, "I just wanted to check that you're ok," he added before offering her a tiny smile and turning to leave.

"Harry…" Nikki choked just as he reached a hand towards the door. He stopped and looked at her expectantly, "will you stay with me?" she asked, her voice tiny. Harry's tired eyes softened slightly and he closed the door before moving to the opposite side of the bed. He climbed on top of the covers, wearing a simple black t-shirt and black sleep shorts, and offered Nikki his arm. She flicked the room back into darkness and slowly pulled the duvet up around her before laying her head on Harry's warm chest. It felt so comforting to have him beside her and she felt as though his presence would ward away Leo's ghost which was haunting her dreams. When she felt his breathing settle into a steady rhythm, and her own heart had calmed to its usual beat, she was able to close her eyes and welcome a dreamless sleep.

But as she felt her consciousness slipping away from her, she could still hear the echoes of that piercing scream ringing inside her head.


	4. Sixteen

!Sorry its taken me so long to write and upload this chapter!

* * *

Jack swung into work at the late hour of nine fifteen on Wednesday morning, sunglasses hiding his eyes and a black hoody zipped to his chin. He scowled as he dropped into his office seat and laid his head onto the desk without as much as a hello to Nikki. She grinned and lifted her fingertips from her keyboard.

"You look well," she smiled. His response came in the form of a muffled groan and the slight wave of his hand.

"It's so bright in here, why have you turned the lights up?" he grumbled, straightening up in his chair before slouching backwards.

"That's called the sun, Jack," Nikki laughed.

Slowly Jack reached up and tugged the glasses from his face, squinting as his eyes were exposed. Nikki noticed a gentle purple bruise blossoming across his left cheekbone and his right eye was slightly closed over.

"Are you ok?" she asked, more out of habit than actual concern. Around the office, they were used to Jack's cuts and bruises from the fight the night before.

"I'm great, I won a major fight yesterday, went out with the lads for a few drinks afterwards and I don't think I've been to bed…" he groaned, but the corners of his lips tilted in a proud and smug smirk. "What are you still doing at this desk anyway, I thought you got promoted to the big desk?" he shot at her playfully.

"It isn't a promotion. I guess I'm just not accustomed to being in there yet, I like it in here," she shrugged.

"I believe that is my computer now, Nikki Alexander," a friendly voice said from the doorway. Harry stood leaning casually against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked at her with a lazy smile and Jack slowly rose to his feet.

"And you are?" he demanded, a little unkindly.

"Harry Cunningham," he said, extending a hand towards him. Jack eyed him up and down, the name ringing far back in his memory. This couldn't be Nikki's old colleague and friend, the man who she was heartbroken over when Jack had first started at the Lyell. But the shaggy black hair and bright blue eyes seemed distantly familiar, as if he'd seen him in a photograph.

"He's here to help," Nikki said, "Harry this is Jack Hodgeson, our forensic scientist."

"We do forensics here now?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Is there a problem with that?" Jack snapped, broadening his shoulders and standing square on to face Harry.

"Things have changed since you left," Nikki offered, feeling a little uncomfortable with the way Jack was glaring at her old friend. Harry held his gaze steady and Jack finally turned away and sunk back into his chair.

"No need for another pathologist, Nikki's been running this place just fine alone," he muttered under his breath.

"Jack," she snapped.

"So we have an open case, a young girl has just been brought in," Harry reported, turning to leave. Nikki and Jack followed him towards the observers gallery overlooking where a young red haired police officer stood waiting for them. Nikki glanced down and saw the body of a young girl laid out on the table, her white skin so pale it was almost grey against her long black hair which was spread out under her. She looked groomed, clean, as if she was ready for burial already, not post mortem. And she was pretty. She was wearing a short black skirt, a cropped t-shirt and very little else.

"Has this body been touched?" Nikki asked.

"This is exactly how she was found. Her body was dumped in the woods on county lines but she was transported here as soon as she was identified and forensics on the other side collected her. She lived not far from here. Looks like she was cleaned post mortem by her killer, hair brushed et cetera," she replied, "I'm Detective Inspector Foxx by the way."

"What do we know about her?" Nikki asked.

"Bethany Tomas, sixteen years of age, last seen on Friday night when she was staying at a friend. Her school reported her missing when she didn't turn up on Monday," Foxx explained, reading from a little red notebook.

"Her parents didn't notice she was gone all weekend?" Jack questioned.

"She said she was staying with a friend. Not the kind of family to check up on her apparently. I'm on my way to interview the parents now after I've finished here so anything you can tell me will be a great deal of help."

After completing an examination on the body, Nikki met back with DI Foxx.

"Cause of death?" she asked.

"Ligature marks around her throat suggest strangulation, no blunt force trauma or stab wounds. She has some severe bruising on her arms and other defensive wounds telling me she put up a fight and evidence of sexual trauma. We've taken a blood sample and DNA from under her fingernails, but she looks fairly clean," Nikki explained.

"She was raped?" Foxx asked, her brow forming a heavy frown.

"I believe so. It will take a day or so to get her blood report back, just so we can see if there was any drug use or anything unusual. We've also sent off her clothing for DNA and Jack will inspect for any other kind of evidence."

"Sixteen years old and look at her," Harry shook his head sadly.

"Keep me updated, thanks again," Foxx said, jotting one last thing down in her little notebook.

"I'll see you out," Nikki said. As she led the way towards the entrance, a dark feeling seemed to spread through her body. It was never a good day when they had a young murder victim. Trouble was brewing, and Nikki would feel it was about to get a lot worse.


End file.
